Friday, January 7, 2011
It's hasn't always been my house, but they Are my Home.
When I was 15, the idea of being anywhere but with my family was always close to the front of my mind. But here I am 20 years old and I still hate heading back to school. Don't get me wrong I love living my life down at school and inching closer and closer to the real world...but I get scared. Scared that I won't know every detail of their lives, scared my brothers will be taller than me the next time I come home. Scared I won't be here to help my mom when the "men" of the house just aren't cutting it. And I miss getting to say goodnight every night, it's funny how little things mean the most.
I'm so lucky to live only 2.5 hours away, but sometimes it still seems to far. Too far on the days that I just want my Daddy's chicken soup to go home for it, and too far to make it home to see the twins in every performance. Too far for a quick shopping trip with Mom. It's settled. Finalized. Growing up is everything I ever imagined, and a few things I never saw coming.
I honk three times when I leave the driveway, just a simple reminder "I Love You." She texts me, faster these days, then when she first started texting. "I Love You More." She might be right but I still feel that pang when I get on the highway remembering, home is where the heart is. My hearts always with them, even when I'm a silly 2.5 hours away.