All I want for Christmas is Youuu

I'll have to make this kinda snappy, 2 hour long yoga starts pretty soon. I didn't get a chance to update yesterday so I'm going to squish days 7 & 8 together.

Day 7: Favorite DIY craft; all-right let's just set one thing straight. I am not very good at crafting but for the holiday's I did use to make an advent box. Now however they are currently being massed produced, but they used to look like this...

They are actually a beer box covered with wrapping paper, and a gift bag cut in half with slits cut out of it. Each hole has a number and you get to open one every day from December 1st-December 24th!

Crafting for gifts is always fun and a good money saver, especially being in collage. Everyone likes to get things with their initials on them, and puffy paint and iron on are a sorority girls best friend. Frames are also easy and so fun to personalize with paint, embellishments or just the photos you put inside. If you really want to win someone over monogram is always the best way to go, but that can get pricey and probably doesn't fall in the category of crafty.

Day 8: My least favorite things about the holidays

• I really do hate being cold, and as pretty as the snow is at my house in the mountains most time the snow turns to ice and is just stuck there, almost like a death trap awaiting it's next victem. It makes running outside complicated and well I'm from Hawaii it should be expected that I hate anything lower than 50 degrees.
• I hate having to plan and be with one set of people but being away from others. I'm close with my boyfriend's family so that totally stinks, and it's also strange because I spend 3/4ths of the year with my sisters at college but then don't get to see them over the holidays. Sometimes it seems like someone ends up let down.
• Getting too caught up in what the holiday's are not about. I'm not going to get into the whole religious affiliations and what not, but I think most people know what I mean. Too many gifts, not enough Christmas spirit. And hey if you don't know what I'm talking about then I really need to be more like you.

I think that's all for tonight. I have 2 finals left and then I'll be home for a whole month. I'm looking forward to not having any work hanging over my head, and I'll be one month closer to finding out about Grad school stuff.

Happy Hump Day <3>

Christmas is coming, the Goose is getting fat.

I didn't really think I'd make a post today, but I have opted out of traveling far to watch the Patriots game. Although now that I've written that I realized my beloved will probably read it and remember how unimpressed he was with my lack of support for his favorite team. I love the Bronco's and well seeing as how they just fired their coach today, we'll just have to see how that all works out.

Moving forward, here's today's challenge: Making A Gift List, although I have already done this on a previous random day I'll reiterate some things I've been dreaming of. But I need nothing.

• Yoga pants- I need warm clothes to keep battling the cold to keep up my 4 miles.
• Target Sports Bras
• Extension cord/ New battery for my Mac Computer
• New gloves and head band for running
• Necklaces and accessories (I know these are hard to pick for others so I will happily accept gift cards)
• Chocolate Sheets
• Green water purifier
• New sweaters (these also fall in the category of gift cards lol)
• New sneakers ( I don't exactly need these, but I love the NikeFree I believe is what they are called.

That's all for now. My yoga instructor has kicked up the intensity in our class and I'm currently in pain and can't tell if it's from my 4 mile run and lift this morning, or the longest hour of my life in hot yoga. More to come tomorrow!

Slightly Stuffed!

I've been dying to get one here and complete the rest of the challenges but just haven't had the time. My hunny came home last night and my fingers are crossed that we go to Grad school either together or verrry close because I missed him while he was gone and it was only 4 days!

Day 3: Most Meaningful/Best gift: Well I know when I was little that I absolutely adored my Barbie Jeep. For top gift under the age of 10 I think that might be it, and in the tween ages I believe it was a neon green boom box. We may have called them CD players back then, but I got that and my first CD. NSYNC Christmas! In the past few years Christmas's have gotten smaller but it's always the thought that counts. The gift that might top it all was my trip to the Bahama's last year for Christmas. Everyone thought it was crazy that we didn't do gifts, but for me I got time. 10 days to do anything we wanted on a little island in the middle of no where.

Day 4: Tricks to Bargain Shopping- Hmm well I haven't been a shopper for nearly as long as some other bloggers but

• I have noticed that come December 15th the prices drastically drop because those stores have to move their merchandise before Christmas.
• If at all possible wait until after Christmas for the silly stuff because for sure that's also going to be on sale.
• Don't turn your nose up at consignment stores, you can find great buys and alot of times things still have the tags on them!
• Always make a list! There is nothing worse then getting into the mall and realizing that you infact don't want to buy anyone on your list clothes or shoes...

Day 5: Favorite Holiday Movie/ TV Show- I've never really been a movie girl but I did enjoy How the Grinch Stole Christmas and Miracle on 34th Street. I don't get to watch alot of TV but per Phineas and Ferb being a show loved by Bran I'm sure I will laugh at their Christmas episode.

Yay! All caught up. Sorry it's slightly stuffed.

Blacccck Friday!

Okay so keeping with the 12 Days of Christmas Challenge , the next topic is Black Friday tips. I know, I know I'm way behind with this challenge but hey I figured I started on December 1st so that's gotta count for something right.

Onto Black Friday. This was only my second year in participating in it. Trina (Bran's mom) took me for my first time last year and while I hate it when it's actually happening, it's such a hoot to look back on I had to go again this year. We had bigger and better plans this year, but didn't do as well as had hoped. I'm thinking next year will be the best yet because now I've done the mall scene as well as the big stores (Wal*Mart etc.) so I'll be able to better judge what and where to be.

When doors open at 10pm, really you should have been camping in the freezing cold since around 6 if you have any desire to actually get the netbook for 77 dollars. This was the point I realized this event was serious. You have to remember in Hawaii we didn't do these kinds of things, the Island I lived on only had 2 Wal*Marts in the first place, and they were over 5 hours away from one another.

I also learned this year that although I was told to stand off to the side when the actual clock stuck twelve, when your partner in crime bends down and hands in a flurry are above your head, abort the initial post and put all hands out to help. It would be tragic to have a man down at the first stop!

I haven't had much experience but I do have a request, why was there not a Dunkin' Doughnuts open anywhere the entire night?! Next year I'm going to have to pack my own thermos full of coffee that way I'm not deliriously falling asleep between stores!

That's all for today. This year's Black Friday wasn't the greatest, but I have high hopes for next year!

Stuck in a bit of a rut

I've been stuck in this funk. For a while there I was finding something to blog about every day but now it's just, well kinda normal. I think I'm going to use the Molly and Aly idea that I've seen on Amber's blog. Maybe this will help snap me outta my blog funk.

My gym stuff just keeps plugging along, I've gotten to 4 miles but it's so darn cold that I'm going to have to acquire a snowsuit that is built for running... Classes are blah, just about to be finished and finals are straight ahead. Bran is out of town for a nerd conference so maybe that's where this blah-ness is coming from...

Anywho onto the challenge...

Day 1 is Christmas Holiday Traditions

• Advent Boxes: Back when I was a wee one my mom & dad created these boxes out of beer boxes. Mom covered them with gift bags, and every day we get to punch a hole that's numbered and get a present. Today I got a new work out shirt ;) I've passed the tradition on and my boyfriend now gets a box every year
• Christmas Photo: Every year my brothers and I have a theme that initially used to be decided by my mother, and is now decided by us. One year it was us on a surfboard, the next we all wore white wife beaters (I hate that they are called that) and stood all tough like in back of Dad's truck. It's a great tradition and so funny to look back on.
• Santa Gifts: Apparently I didn't know this was a tradition for our family in particular, but our Santa Gifts are always unwrapped. They are hand-delivered down the Chimney from the rosy man himself, and obviously they are such cool gifts that they can't be wrapped. They themselves hold the OOOOO factor of Christmas and this will be a tradition I pass down as well!

Well that did make me feel better! Happy December!

Have what you want, but want what you have

Christmas time is around the corner, and I've started nice and early this year. I have lots of things I want to get everyone, but I also keep being asked what do you want?

I can't think of anything! I'm too old for Barbie's and I'm too practical for anything extravagant. Socks and Target sports bras were on the top of my list! At first I thought that was pathetic but then realized that the older I get, the less frivolous stuff I want and the most useful things I would like to get. Especially because that frees up my money to spend on fun stuff for other people!

So here it is the must awaited for list:

Socks- no show for running

Target sports bras

Water purifier- I'll need it for Grad school

The new Nicholas Sparks book; or really anything to read because my next semester schedule has much more time for reading!

An extension cord for my Mac computer charger

Denver Bronco's calendar- that way I can still see them even when it's not season.

Chocolate sheets- Target's are lovely!

Criminal minds? I can't decide if I would like to have the seasons on DVD

Kelly Green Scarf

New ear warming and gloves to run with

Under Armour long sleeve to layer- I've been running 4 miles and if I want to keep it up I'll have to bear the cold outside

Bright colored cardigans

Disney Gift Cards- They will apply to Bran and I's trip to Disney World after Graduation in May!!

That's all I can think of. Plenty of practical not too expensive things. I think I was having a hard time letting go of the kid fantasy's of that one big thing that will be sitting in the living room from Santa. But this year I get to play Santa for lots of others, and that's really what Christmas is about.

Came for warm clothes, got a lot more.

Have you ever noticed that if the sunlight hits the black top just right, it sparkles?

I do not know what's better than slipping away from the chaotic world and driving through foliage (that I swore I would never appreciate) and ending up at home. But not before I have the privilege of stopping and getting to eat lunch with my proud Dad, and get to catch up on the world. Grand amount are established without many words. A tradition has started, with moments we'll remember.

The end of my day could not have been better than laying in bed discussing houses, teenagers and letting go, all while listening to the cat's banter with one another for her attention.

I'm not sure if I simply forget how good it is to be in a humble, appreciative, simple environment or if I just push it so far back in my mind so as not to constantly feel the urge to drop what I'm doing and shoot straight for the Inn.

I've, or shall I say we've come such a long way and while I don't feel deeply rooted in this particular house, I feel tangled and held tightly by the 5 Jalernpan's of America. It's kinda neat to be one of a kind, or in this case 5 of a kind.

I hope you feel as lucky as I do, to have picked just the right combination of people to raise you. Sometimes I make bad decisions, but this one was absolutely perfect. It sparkles all the time, even if the sun's not shining just right.

Nothin' could be sweeter than...

the sweet stories shared about the fallen men who map your past.

the smell that inspires you over when you open the kitchen door.

a tinted photograph near the bedside that captures an instance that matters a lifetime.

the devotion that brings her pleasure and beautiful creation.

a room full of camaraderie that has gotten her through the ups and downs.

her sweet voice carrying the hymnal at the front of the church.

a small gesture of huge love, full of butterflies and hope.

listening and laughing as her vivid memories come to life.

a glitter in her smile when she slips away to the moments when she wasn't here without him.

bringing those together who'll never know how much they have shaped the woman I've become.

101 in 1001

101 in 1001

Physical/ Health

1. Run 3 miles on a regular basis instead of 2
2. Continue going to yoga/pilates
3. Get into hiking or trail running
4. Run the Cooper River Bridge 10 K!
5. Swim a mile as my rule not the exception
6. Try one cleansing / detox diet just to see what it’s like
7. Find one other type of class I enjoy, Zumba, Jazzercize, etc.
8. Use my drive to exercise to benefit others- participate in run/walks for non-profit organizations
9. Go to at least one Crossfit session with Bran!
10. Take and pass the Beach lifeguard physical portion exam
11. Continue taking a multi-vitamin and bump it up with adding Vitamin C and possibly a few others

Education

1. Educate the new members we just brought through their new member period in order to leave behind a good legacy
2. Sucessfully host the Greek 101 program for all Greeks

3.Confidently finish my Officer Term with a bit more assertiveness than before

4..Finish out with a 3.9 overall GPA

5. Get my Bachelor’s degree in Psychology

6. Get into the majority of the programs I applied to for Grad School

7.Obtain my Master’s Degree in College Student Development

8.Get a certificate in Leadership and Organization to better set myself up at as an asset to get hired

9. Learn to speak Thai

Career

1. Get hired as a Head Guard at an outdoor pool

2. Teach private swim lesson full time one summer

3. Hold an assistantship the entire time I’m in Grad School

4. Get hired as a Greek Advisor

5. Find a job near where Bran is finishing his Doctorate

6. Be on an exec. Board at a college to get my foot in the door

7. Begin working my way up through a University that has opportunities for me to advise and organize student affairs programs

8. Write a small piece or column for a local magazine or newspaper

9. Give back in some way whether time or money to Tri-Sigma possibly as a chapter advisor somewhere but not at my own chapter

10. Make the big girl change to a BlackBerry to be able to manage everything on the go

Finances

1. Start paying off my college loans (don’t incur too many during Grad School)
2. Stash money to help with my brother’s college
3. Get someone to give me a freaken credit card
4. Save up enough to do DisneyWorld right
5. Have at least $5,000.00 in savings
6. Be able to send money when asked thru Alum Relations for Zeta Lambda
7. Start a small savings account for a house down payment

Domestication

1. Stop being such a chicken and take a baking class; to make cupcakes and cakes like I want to.

2. Make at least 2 meals at home a week

3. Make carrot cake from scratch

4. Make funny bone cake from scratch

5. Plant a garden and grow some of my own vegetables

6. Own my very own palm tree, even if it’s in a little pot

7. Get a kitten when I have a big girl apartment for Grad School

8. Learn to cook Chicken Melanesas

9. Become a bit more fashionable- add accessories!

10. Turn Sigma t-shirts into a quilt

11. Learn to sew well enough to make curtains and fix buttons

12. Buy a pink vacuum

13. Bump up my sheet thread count- ie price range when buying sheets

14. Have decent fingernails that I can actual paint

15. Frame a picture I took from Hawaii to use as a center piece for a room

Personal Growth

1. Find more time for writing, blogging and composing

2. Stand up more often for the little things instead of waiting for a big issue to fight for

3. Discover more about Buddhism (possibly through visiting Thailand)

4. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or a clothing drive

5. Become a Big Sister through Big Brothers/Big Sisters

6. Finish my listography books

7. Stay in touch with my sisters via snail mail

8. Coach a little league soccer team

9. Teach the twins how to drive a stick shift

10. Learn to exhibit more on the outside what’s going on inside instead of assuming others know what I’m feeling without actually saying it

11. Hold others to the standards I hold myself

12. Strive to teach others through action and not lecture

Traveling Shoes

1.Make a trip to visit all the schools we’ve applied to NC State, Chapel Hill, Tennessee, USC etc.

2. Go back to The Big Island of Hawaii

3.Bring Bran to meet the family in Charleston, WV

4. Head to Denver, Colorado (maybe see a Bronco’s game)

5.Go to Fenway Park

6. Visit my Little in Saint Louis Missouri

7. Hike a small part of the Blue Ridge parkway

8. Take a cruise to some exotic tropical spot

9, Drive to Florida for a Vacation

10.Visit mile marker 1

13. Go back to Kentucky and see another Wildcats Game

14. Visit a Spanish speaking country

Pixie Dust Stuff

1. Become Engaged to my Prince Charming
2. Take professional pictures “fairy tale style”
3. Go to a Denver Broncos Game
4. Be kissed in Cinderella’s castle at Disney
5. Eat more exotic fruits like mangos, kiwis and pomegranates
6. Decorate a room all by myself
7. Own a blender for smoothies
8. Make a CD for family of guitar playing and singing
9. Own a yellow pair of rain boots
10. Get monogrammed towels!
11. Spend a whole evening in a book store getting a bunch of books I’ve always wanted to read but never had the time
12. Get certified in Scuba Diving
13. Bring Bella back from Mim and Pops
14. Ride on the back of a motorcycle just to see what it’s like
15. Get a specific perfume
16. Have a fish tank with some exotic fish
17. Buy a pair of skinny jeans to wear with boots
18. Go to a wedding! I’ve only ever been to my parents renewal of vows
19. Go out in a rain jacket and rain boots and stomp in a really really huge puddle
20. Find the love notes from Bran from my summer away at camp
21. Start a DVD collection
22. Own and play the piano again. Possible compose again as well.
23. Spend one entire day really and truly playing hooky
24. Learn to water ski/ go tubing
25. See a white Christmas
26. Get a set of those tumbler cups with my initials in them

Tag.... I've been it!

I got tagged in Amber's Blog decades ago and am just now coming off the recruitment weekend and am feeling quite a bit overwhelmed with all the work I need to do. So I figured I'd take a minute to completely procrastinate before heading off to Great World Speeches.

1) What is your favorite thing about being in a relationship with your boyfriend/fiancé/spouse?

Ahh, well if I had to only pick one thing I suppose it would be the fact that he's always coming up with creative ways to help me. Weather it's a drawing on my mirror to brighten my morning and coming to rescue when there's a spidy in our apartment, he manages to "fix" everything with a solution I never ever would have thought of.
2) If you could go anywhere in the world for an entire week with your girlfriends, where would you go and why?

I think I'd take them all to Hawaii. It's been really hard for me to make a new life here without the chance to ever show anyone where I come from. The oceans that made me and the houses that built me. I'd take them to all the places you'll never read about in a tour guide book because their "local spots."

3) What persona were you in high school: Miss Popular, The Sporty Girl, The Book Worm, Etc.

I was deffinitly and still consider myself to have been The Book Worm. I had a mullet all through elementry school and it pretty much carried through. I still read for fun, even though the only time that fits in is when I'm ellipticalling. School and my grades have always been important and hopefully that'll pay off when Grad schools start coming back to me.

4) Have you ever been stereotyped in any way? What did you have to do to overcome that stereotype – or are you still struggling with it?

I think when I became a sorority girl I was immediately characterized as what people see on TV. I know my own family was even skeptical of the acts that were going on to become a member. But Tri-Sigma really isn't like that and once anyone takes the time to speak to any member for more than 30 seconds they typically realize that. I try to brush it off and realize that none of the women I associate myself with behave in those ways.
5) What’s your favorite song of all time?

Ahh that would be the old stand by, Love Story by Taylor Swift. I'm pretty sure I have every version of it on my ipod, regular, techno, acoustic. It will be played at my wedding.

6) What’s your favorite holiday and why?

Hmmm, probably Valentine's day because although there are gifts it's not actually about the physical thing you get it's more about the thought that went into it and the whole day being dedicated to showing the people around you that you care. I know that I definitely don't do this enough (I'm not the biggest fan of emotions or feelings) so when I get the chance I try to embrace it.

7) If you could change one thing about yourself (body, personality, abilities, etc) what would it be and why?

Hmm, well approaching this week I'm praying for the capability to either add time to the day or to learn to delegate with grace and compassion. I struggle to be a strong leader because I feel like I loose a bit of momentum once I'm up and running full speed.

8) What is something that makes you feel incredibly feminine?

I'm girly but never fashionable and I have always wished that I would just have a more grown up sense of fashion and color choices etc. but I still like bright colors and simply outfits. I feel very feminine when I have on a really put together outfit that includes high heels and typically some sort of scarf or well choose accessory. This really doesn't happen very often though, I need to keep practicing.

I can't help Falling in Love with You

I know it's really cheesy. But the version by Andrea Bodocelli and Katherine McPhee popped up on my Itunes and I instantly melted and envisioned a wedding dance floor. Strange huh? Especially since anything serene is as far in the horizon as ever!

It's a constant tornado around here and I feel topsy turvy as I try to feel it all. Sometimes it's as if I'm too smart for my own good, and I recognize too many things I'm suppose to be remembering and enjoying. The ups and downs are what makes it real but sometimes when I have just that one second to spare I don't even know what to do with myself.

But you know what I do know? I'm so lucky to have him, and them. By them I mean my sisters and by him I mean that guy who remembers where I have applied to and what I'm scared of. He remembers my sisters names and never lets me forget he loves me. It's as easy as the effort for searching for a Taylor Swift card or making me a quick lunch.

Sometimes I wonder why I'm so lucky.

"Take my hand, take my whole life too."

Here's to the Dollhouse

Goodbyes are bittersweet and as the fall air comes to the mountains the aire of change is all around. I don't get home too often, but I came home to watch the loves of my life march and was incredibly impressed with the positive light that is here in my home and in the hearts of my family. They handle everything so well, with such resilience.

Hearts to heart regarding the closing date are difficult and short but necessary and at times relieving. Hopefully it'll be over soon, painless as possible. As the saying goes you never know unless you try and I personally don't see it as a failed attempt but somedays she does and others she doesn't.

It's hard and complicated but I know it's what's right. Today's a day to celebrate their accomplishments and marvel in how much they grew up even though I've only been gone 3 weeks. High school will do that.

Maybe this time isn't goodbye, but I know that's on the horizon. I'll squeeze my eyes and wish on that shooting star, or is it an airplane? Star light star bright I wish I may I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight. Take us somewhere small and perfect. A tiny burden and let's push the restart button.

Petrified

I have putting this off all summer. Well actually I suppose a better more honest way to phrase that is that I have been working towards this moment all summer. But I'm not sure I'm ready. But I hit send anyways.

I just submitted the general application to The University of Tennessee. Their college student personnel program is my top choice. I'm awaiting on one last tiny detail before I hit send on the specific program application, but the essays are done and hopefully the i's are all dotted. But now comes the terrible, horrible worst no good part.

Waiting.

I'm pathetically horrible at waiting. I emailed the dean of students my resume and she emailed me back within minutes telling me thank you for my interest in the program. I'm sure it was a generic email, but I saved it anyways.

Never-mind you that I have to finish and send my Clemson, App State and a few others in for scrutinizing and long months of waiting. I've sent my first one in, and maybe that'll be the hardest one. The rest will just roll right off my back, along with the hundreds of dollars it's costing me to get them just to consider me for their programs.

So keep your fingers and toes (maybe even eyes) crossed, and toss a little prayer my way whenever you think of me. I have big dreams and I need to go somewhere with them.

The First of Last.

I'm going to start this off with the fact that it just took me almost an hour to get onto this darn thing and now I can't even remember what I was going to blog about.

I can't believe I'm a senior. I can't believe we just watched the hypnotist for the last time. I cannot belive that I am all moved in and settled for the last time at Wingate University.

It's the last year of cramped cafe food and smelly staircases. It's the last year of Wingate repairmen knocking on our doors, and the last time I'll watch incoming freshmen struggle between teenage years and adulthood.

But more importantly it's the last chapter meetings, and my last semester as an officer. It's the last time I'll live this close to all of my best friends, and the final year of occupying the bat cave. The last round of new girls coming through that I'll actually personally know.

I think the lasts will be even better than the firsts, and somewhere just on the other side of my final last walk through the quad I bet I'll find all new firsts.

Craziness that is my Life

Upon arrival at my house from an amazing get away with the boyfriend, I was pepper-sprayed with things I had to do and it hit me directly in the forehead just how quickly summer has gone by. I have SO much to do before I head up north to drive 16 hours down with my best friend from New Hampshire to North Carolina.

I not only need to pack my car 3 days in advance to actually driving it to Wingate, but I also have to box and bin up my entire room and closet. There's thank you gifts to give for swim moms and co-workers and only 2 days left to do it in. Not to mention that I think I'm a work-a-holic in that I worked 13 hours today instead of taking it nice and easy.

But I do know one thing. I'm incredibly blessed to be here in this moment and although I probably don't have the time to be creating a blog about basic nothingness, I thought I'd capture one more moment before I keep going within this hurricane.

That's all for now. More to come as I begin classes and I'm sure there will be a grand post about the 16 hour car drive with the Bat Cave.

Oh Fall, Where are you??!!

I think this happens with every season. By the last few weeks of one season, I find myself chomping at the bit for the next one to begin. This summer is proving to be absolutely no exception! I'm soooo tired of going into work, and this heat is killing me. Where oh where is my vacation. On this other side of the next two days lies a 5 day vacation with the boy to Williamsburg! Although I did just discover last night that we will not be escaping the heat at all...

I don't think I've ever been this ready to go back to school and start classes. I'm ready to see my sisters and I'm definitely ready to be wearing long sleeve shirts with shorts on the bottom. Fall might be my favorite season. But perhaps as mentioned before I'm impartial to whichever season is about to begin. The whole season concept is still a new one I'm adjusting to seeing as in Hawaii it's sunny and 85 with a cool breeze coming off the ocean ALL YEAR ROUND! The only thing that defines our winter, is bigger waves.

I'm now not only counting the days but the hours, minutes, and seconds I spend in this small town watching unruly children run a muck in the heat. They are as miserable as I am, but I'm quite sure that half way through the fall when the degrees begin dropping and I switch my tank tops to coats and boots and gloves, I'll be wishing I was back in these good ole' summer evenings instead of up to my ears in applications and papers.

You'd think these self-revelations would make me appreciate the season I'm currently in... Maybe I'll go have a popsicle for summers sake.

Frieda's Fan Fiasco

After a forty five minute swim lesson, four red lights, and three minutes behind schedule I found myself laying with my palms pressing into my purple mat. I wiggled my toes and tried to find my happy place. Poo-lates for the second day in a row. I"m actually liking it quite a bit. Perhaps it's because it's 45 minutes of quiet stretching. QUIET being my favorite part...

But usually I attend a Thursday afternoon class. There are a few scattered mats on those lovely afternoons. In contrast this morning I stumbled in late and wedged myself someone whom the teacher kept talking to so I assume she's new and then to my left is Freida. Shes probably about 65, but I didn't even notice her until a petitie asian woman asked the instructor to come cut the back fan on. At this point my legs are in table top and I'm focusing on my core so I'm a bit ticked off that anyone is talking at all...

And then Freida begins. "OH! I can't have that fan off. Linda turn it off." She's speaking in some accent I can't place and I'm trying to inhale hee, exhale hooooo. She keeps talking getting louder and louder. Someone mumbles "Why don't we lower the setting?" Mind you I'm now in a assisted teaser and trying to envision long lean muscles. The petitie but not so shy asian woman retorts to Freida with "Why don't you wear more clothes!" Um, can I please point out freezing Frieda was wearing long pants and a t-shirt. She retorted with "Look at what I'm wearing!"

I have now completely lost all thought of chee or chai or whatever it is that I'm suppose to be thinking about and am trying hard not to let Freida see me smirking. At this point poor Freida states "I JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL." How the hell were we suppose to know that, and why are you in Pilates?! Finally to the entire classes relief this woman throws her giant water-bottle and moves, surprising closer to the asian woman.

Eh, I suppose in the long run I ended up with more room to continue working those long lean muscles but I'm pretty sure poor Freida's day was ruined. I think I'll stick with my typical Thursday afternoon classes. I'm pretty sure the old ladies in the back were making sexual comments to top it all off.

What a Friday.

This Ain't Nothing

::"This ain't nothing time can't erase, this ain't nothing MONEY can't replace."::

We are constantly in motion, working for a dollar or running from place to place. How often do we stop and think that we simply can't take these things with us. When we leave this place behind it won't matter what you drove or the name stitched in the back of your shirt.

Sometimes I lay in bed and rewind to a moment and I want to shake the then me. Did I remember to kiss my mom goodnight, or tell my brothers I loved them? Will the extra hour truly make a difference on next weeks paycheck? Did I say goodbye before I slipped off to the next place?

As I come to the age teetering on the edge the grownup world, I make daily promises to myself in hopes of staying away from the fast lane and missing the moments that actually count. Sometimes the dollar signs look so promising but where will they be when I see my Makers face. What puts me to ease and into a sweet place when it darks in my bedroom is the thought of everyone who I love, loving me back. So the next time I see the opportunity I'm going to squeeze a little tighter and stay a little longer.

Let that car rushing by you go on ahead, he'll be sitting at the next red light and you can smile and wave. The next time your longing for someTHING, stop and put that energy into someONE.

I don't know no town, like the old town

Waikoloa, It means wet duck. That's the direct translation of the Hawaiian word Waikoloa into English. I grew up in this village in the middle of lava fields. There's one road in and one road out. The older I got the more often I'd heard of an evacuation route being planned, but in the 17 years I was there the one road sufficed.

To the Mauka (mountain) was my tiny school, which was actually a barn. And to the Makai (ocean) there was camping, palm trees and crystal clear water as far as the eye can see. We didn't climb mountains or hike trails to find the secret spots, we rambled over lava fields and set up blankets underneath the stars, falling asleep to the waves.

Every road is only one lane each way. One road outlines the entire island's perimeter . 9 hours. I only drove it once.

Quietly the hotels land plots expanded and the tour buses joined the lifted trucks at the once isolated "cruz" spots. There were still a few left when I left it all behind. I like to think that they are each still there, preserved as if time stopped when I let it go.

I live with the picture perfect images in my mind, and surround myself with the perfection of each sunset I was lucky enough to capture. I'm certain I'll return, yet it'll be with a timid and reserved mind. I'll cry for what's different, because nothing will be the same. Changes to the 'Aina (land) I didn't get to witness. And the changes in me, all the ones the 'Aina didn't get to see.

Don't take for granted the blessing of driving past your old house and old elementary school. Embrace seeing someone in the dairy aisle of your hometown grocery store, and think of me the next time you wish you would have left. No, I don't regret one minute of it. The leaving and moving on. But for now memories I have are the only ones I get to make.

:: "Picture postcard memories, Well they always make for good company." ::

The process of Aging

I skipped a grade. 7th to be exact. Therefor I was in that moment given the clear and sufficient title of ALWAYS being the baby of the group. I was the last to drive, and actually the last one allowed to even leave the darn driveway! Here I am 20 years old and I'll be the last one to turn 21, as a SENIOR in college. *Woah, thats really weird to say.

Honestly there were only a few incidents when this even remotely mattered, but for this Blogs purpose I never ever felt like an older kid til I was out on the pool deck the other day. Now keep in mind, I've officially decided that I cannot judge kids ages in the range between 12 and 17. I can't do it. I dunno if the hormones in the Mcdonalds they're eating but some 12 year olds look 20 and other 17 year olds look 11! I've given up guessing... But at this point on the pool deck I've decided this girl is 17 potentially 18. Shes trying to figure out what year anyone using the sauna needs to be born before. Then she makes the bold statement

"Well I was born in 95' so.." I don't hear the rest of the sentence. I interrupt her and say WHAT? You're born in 95', so you're 15?! I'm working at an establishment with a 15 year old. She's not old enough to drive herself to work, what made anyone think she'd be able to save someone's life. But this is besides the point.

In the next 5 minutes I am then told that I AM OLD! Old, little freckled still wears her hair in pigtails and can pass as a 13 year old ME! Not only am I deemed old by these kids, I am one of the 2 OLDEST members here.

I suppose it was bound to happen sometime in my life. People do keep popping out babies even though it's quite obvious that after 1990 there was really no reason, since I was already here. I guess I just didn't except it to happen so quickly. I'll be glad when I'm back at my little college griping about how I still have 6 more months before I can buy alcohol. I never really appreciated being the "baby" til I was no longer deemed that title.

Miscellaneous Monday

I saw a bit of at intriguing trend going on with a few other blogs and decided to try it. They used a random Monday to disclose random facts about themselves... I'll give it a shot but I'm not promising anything

{1} I have a dog. Her name is Bella, TinkerBella Okay now before you judge this statement, I have been highly criticized by many people for not speaking of her often so I thought I could take this moment and give her the spotlight. She's got four legs, spots and a perfect personality. She was everything I asked for and more. She was also a sweet taste of parenthood. But more importantly the first dog I ever owned in my whole life. You cannot become a real live grown up without first owning a puppy. I'm living proof of this fact.

{2} I have recently accepted the fact that I could in-fact be an extravert in the business world, and an introvert when it comes to most social functions. For the first time in my life I was defined as shy and while it shook me it also made me think about what I actually enjoy doing within social groups and it tends to be on the smaller size or in some cases all alone. Can I please express what a strange revolution this was?

{3} If I could live off of Dunkin Doughnuts iced coffee sugar and cream and blueberry or bran muffins I would. Throw in Ham and Cheese biscuits from McDonalds and some coke a cola my life would end artery clogged and smiling. But for whatever reason it is, I was blessed with a fair amount of self control and most days I hit the gym instead of the Big DD, but know that a definite fat kid lives inside me. Not even that far under the surface, I swear.

{4} I can't decide if I want people to read what I write or not. I figured blogger was a good way to test it out. What's the likely hood of random people reading this? Yet I have subtly given all my friends and family access as if my tiny sub-conscience is screaming come read the babble I post in my blog and find meaning! Strange, but miscellaneous.

{5} I have a hard time reflecting emotion in the everyday average situation. But give me a good novel, or chick flick with a couple falling in love and I'm fully equipped with tears and goose-bumps. Maybe it's something about the swelling moments that get built up therefore giving me time to categorize and organize my emotions. Real life comes at me so fast sometimes I think I simply leave my game face on and forget to replace it with my impressed one when someone does something amazing for me.

{6} I've been taught that you treat others how you would like to be treated. I like expressing myself in notes, small ones scribble on a mirror or long ones delievered via snail mail. That is how I want the love to be reciprocated. My mother wrote me a note and stuck it in my brown paper bag lunch box til I was a senior in high school. I'm fully confident that if she still lived close enough and I still carried a lunch box to class she would continue this tradition. Perhaps this is when this strange affiliation for paper notes began.

{7} Sheets. Some people change them once every two weeks. Ask anyone who knows me and they'll admit that I'm a bit psycho when it comes to them. I change them at least once a week if not more often. Sometimes it can be 10pm at night, but once I've got it in my mind I need new ones there is no going back. I fret about who's been near or in the sheets and what's touched them. I'd preferably like to see someone administering the clean sheets to the bed before I stay in a different one beside my own. There is nothing better then crawling into clean sheets with wet hair from the shower and falling asleep. It's a personal preference, don't worry I get that.

I'll leave it with that. After all 7's a great number.

The "what did you say?" Phenomenon

You knew this was coming kid...

I wish that I could say I didn't fall victicm to the almost instant saying of "what?" when someone states a sentence that you didn't quite catch. The best part of this phenomenon is that the moment they go to repeat themselves, somehow your mind has had enough time to process and you now not only know what they said but you have an answer.

Somedays I tell myself people only do this when I'm saying things that don't particularly like. "Wait, you told me you'd fix the car?" "What did you say?" Sometimes I swear people will add a few extra inches between you as if I wasn't speaking loudly enough.

The days when I fall victim to it, I typically blame it on mumbling, the individuals word choice or pronunciation...basically anything but faulty hearing. " You definitely used the word quality wrong!"

Maybe it's because we are so use to instant gratification, but the track that runs our hearing to our minds hasn't quite caught up yet. It seems to take just a few extra seconds to process what's being said, but instead of waiting those seconds we simply throw in an extra what did you say?

The process of quietly revising...

Yup, once I finally acquire the patience and actually have the time to spend shaving my legs I realize that it was fairly quick and painless and I solemnly vow to do it much more often. Yet the next time I go to wear a skirt I'm reminded oops haven't shaved. Oh well I'll keep making the vow....

I also started eating no desserts this week and well I made it a whole week, but heres the weekend. A glorious Friday afternoon, and upon deciding to bake my boyfriends favorite dessert funnybone cake (chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting) I realize that I will have to edit my dessert claus and add in the part about eating some dessert on the weekends.

When the summer first began I had huge plans to cook 3 times a week to get my feet wet and not be so nervous in the kitchen. I'd say that while my nerve level has decreased, I definitely had to reduce the cooking rate to maybe once a week sometimes I don't even get the chance. Why does it seem many of my rules revolve around food?

Sometimes you have to set some sort of boundary or rule with the hopes that just one time you will follow it.

Life's all about editing right?

Poo-lates

Yup thats right, today I broke down and went all organic. Well okay, so it wasn't all organic but it was a big step for me. I'm a cardio loving, running, sprinting, swimming, lifting weights kinda girl. But I was thinking that since the ultimate goal is to not only tone but lengthen my muscles, (especially in the leg region) I would try pilates. Hence the title poolates.

Lets just say first off I made the mistake of telling the instructor I was nervous for the class. She then proceeds to introduce me to the 7 old ladies who are 'regulars' and I'm left smiling and turning a putrid shade of red. Once the initial embarrassment is over I take my seat or shall I say position and the class begins. Now the class itself wasn't too bad. I can't usually take yoga seriously but this was quick movements and I could feel my core working. I'm debating going back next week but I'm just not sure it's for me.

At the end of the 45 minutes the instructor of course notified that class that I had been worried and I heard a few chuckles running through the run. Cut out the entering and exiting on embarrassing notes and the class was all-right.

I was a bit bummed that I didn't work out before hand because afterwards I definitely felt like I could keep going. On a happier note the quest to avoid dessert went well today and I snacked on graham crackers with soy milk.

The image I posted with this seems very Zen like. It's from when I was in the Bahamas with the boyfriend. Oom.